Marital status: often
Children: various
Reason for leaving last job:
They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning.
I couldn’t work under those conditions.
Vision:
My goal is to be a meterologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try other “ventures”
Honors:
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
Professional Experience:
1. 1992-93 Onion Grader
2. 1993-94 IMAX Screen Cleaner
3. 1994-96 Golf Ball Diver
4. 1996-96 Odor Tester
5. 1996-97 Professional Whistler
6. 1997-97 Citrus Fruit Colorer
7. 1997-98 Adult Store Attendant
8. 1998-99 Fortune Cookie Writer
9. 2000-02 Dice Inspector
10. 2002-04 Elephant Tender
11. 2004-04 Chicken Sexer
12. 2004-05 Pet Detective
13. 2005-07 Vermiculturist - Worm Farmer
14. 1997-now Whiskey Ambassador (tester)
Personal interests:
Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
References: none.
I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.
Note:
Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.
